Dear Call of Duty,

Man, I guess I'll just get to it. I think we need to stop seeing each other.

Sure, there were good times. But let's face it, we haven't really felt that spark since Modern Warfare 2. And even back then, if we're honest with each other, we knew there were problems. That's really when it all started.

For a long time, you seem to have been handing out victories and defeats at random. All of my losses feel undeserved, as do my wins. If I knife a guy in the back 3 times, he should not be able to turn around and shoot me. Likewise, when I run down the middle of the map while dual-wielding revolvers, I should get my ass handed to me. Sadly, you don't seem to care what takes place.

So, I guess now is when I admit that I cheated on you with Borderlands. I don't regret it. Borderlands just knows how to treat me. And soon, her hot younger sister is gonna be on the scene. You better believe that I'm gonna get me some Borderlands 2 action. And you better bet that it will be AMAZING.

Honestly, you should have seen this coming. I used you to cheat on Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2. And lately, even though she's tired and boring, Left 4 Dead 2 has tried harder to win me back than you ever did. Truthfully, you only have yourself to blame.

So, pack your things and get out of my HDD. And let's be clear on that: it is MY HDD. You never spent a dime on it. Also, I'm keeping Game Room. I know we picked her out at the shelter together, but she's bonded more with me. It wouldn't be fair to uproot her, and you want what's best for her. Don't you? Besides, you never picked out any games for her...

Anyway, this is it. Get out of my 360.

-WILDMAMMOTH